Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
