some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
