Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
