She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
