You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
