So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
