i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
