mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
