rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
