You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
