Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
