i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
