how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
