I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
