so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize