apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
