She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
