I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
