Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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