My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
