Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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