he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
