this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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