So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
