I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
