i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
