Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
