dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
wow bdsm is so cute
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
