dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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