I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
