How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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