I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
do nipples grow back?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
