He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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