Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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