D3 body, D1 cock
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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