Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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