There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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