Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
