Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
