i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize