some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
