We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
