This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
