I hate your face
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
