if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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