I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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