And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
