Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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