I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
