Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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