ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
