I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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