The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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