nut hugger
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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