You're my little dorito
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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