so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
