Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
These tits shall not be calmed
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
