i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize