I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So many bounce houses so little time
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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