where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
