what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
