all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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