Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize