I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
