You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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